Week 4 Theme: Day 22: Stuck Energy

Day 22: Stuck Energy
   
Clutter is not just the stuff that spills out of drawers. It is any thing, or thought, that makes us feel off center and rattles our cage.

It is the limiting beliefs that cloud who we are.

It is stuck energy.

The theme this week is "Moving Stuck Energy."

I have been stuck this whole time of this course, at least in terms of actually doing clearing work.

I had been in a clearing process, coached by another space clearer. What I had created was this Sacred Home Keeping practice. Last Spring Equinox I declared that to have my home in the way I wanted it, by the Winter Solstice, it would take me 3 hours, 3X a week. I was playing with the gestational number 9. When I first declared it, my specific 1st task was to switch functions of 2 rooms--our bedroom and my studio (which I had let pile up that I couldn't walk through). I accomplished that task in the timeframe I said. I had created a future fulfilled and worked backwards to create my intentions & tasks & calendared it in. It really gave me a surge. I went in and out of keeping to my commitment after that. I did not complete the home as expected by December. While I did what I needed to do about being complete about that, I have to say I have found old patterns creeping up. For those of you familiar with moon phases and their impact, we are just coming out of the Capricorn New Moon (and into Aquarius moon) it's beeen a good time to make intentions for the new year. Capricorn provides structure and new moons are new beginnings. I have intentions that I plan to place this evening on an altar of abundance in the Feng shui tradition to allow my desires to manifest . Going for the highest good if how I want my life to be. The Universe/God, whatever your belief is pulling for us to clear our spaces so we have the best life possible. We are the ones we've been waiting for. This link may be helpful http://lisa-michaels.com/capricorn-new-moon-2016/

I just had an insight, though today as I looked at the initials, SHK, which stands for Sacred Home Keeping on my list, that has been going on my "to do" list about every day. This originally was a practice I created and was sacred and was magic and gave joy, as well as upleveled the house, was going downhill or out of existence.

As I looked over the initials SHK, what started to come to me was that this was short-hand for  Shekinah. The following  is what I found. In addition, there are her partner goddesses who fill out the acronym I created--Hestia, goddess of the Hearth and Kali, the Dark Mother the Destroyer.

I am in wow awe! Can't wait to work with you Shekinah, Hestia and Kali.

Days 18, 19, 20, 21 Check In � Cultivating Awareness

In the end, I think I like wearing my cats the most.

Even my husband finds the cat's pajamas.

This guy is pretty cuddly to wear on my lap.

 Days 18, 19, 20, 21 Check In � Cultivating Awareness

This week we used our second skin (our clothing) as a tool to help us shed some more light (and possibly even some outfits that we don't use or love).

What were some of your discoveries this week?

It might be helpful to remember that the focus is not about the clothes that don't fit or feel good. It is not about the stuff spilling out of the closet, nor is it about having a pristine one. It is not about the problem or the desired outcome.

It is how you relate to the experience - with no attachment. It is in the space between the problem and the solution where all the goodies are.

How did you relate to the experience?

I fell out a bit on really getting into this practice and doing it daily. Partly because I had pretty much done this exercise before. As I might have shared before, I have been on the clearing journey for awhile (as some of you probably have as well) Where the real issue is, is that all my clothes,  are mostly lying on the floor in a pile. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that and I know this is a forum where we get to let it all hang out.  I have made many attempts to sort them and then quit. The good part of this is that I have been losing weight, so some of these clothes may be too baggy. So I should be rejoicing! ..... Right? I could create a staging area of trying on, if I want, the clothes, and gratefully keep or store away. And part of the issue also is because I've done so much rearranging, and reassigning of rooms,  that I need to create my clothing area as workable. Maybe that's fun project to do today.

After all the exercises with touching my clothes, and considering if I want to keep them, and what qualities I want to feel in wearing them, I am aware of how much I appreciate our cats, Catness and Shalna; they don't have to worry about clothes. And the feel of their fur, their warmth, grace and ease, purrs and all, tells me how I want to feel in my clothes.

I'm starting to turn into a cat, starting with my feet.

Day 17 A-wear-ness process

Day 17 A-wear-ness process

Well, I made it to Day 17 as Stephanie says is the lesson you actually do something. 

As I held my green zip up pullover soft green sweater, I felt nostalgia, I felt its softness. I don't want to get rid of it until I look at the tag and see it's made of polyester. (!!) Right now I'm getting tired because I just started this 750 words online journaling thing that was suggested. I have already gone through my clothes. I am tired. I am tired. I am resisting. It is the end of a long busy day. So the green sweater is just okay, it doesn't spark a lot of joy, as the question asked in the exercise. So what else is "just okay" about my life, I ask myself. I also tell myself, I've sorted through my clothes already using this process. I am aware of tedium and the need to sleep. 

Day 16: A-Wear

Day 16: A-Wear

"Raise your (virtual) hand if you are wearing something today that you don't love, doesn't fit or feel good?

Yes, including underwear.

What just went through your mind just now?

Is it possible to allow the squirmy-ness - of judgment, guilt, embarrassment, shame - to simply arise without doing anything to fix or manage it?"


My clothes fit well and are comfortable. I love this lavender sweater which is also getting a little big as I lose weight. 

I love my new handcrafted felt shoes. 

 I am aware of my hair being messy and my head feeling slight uncomfortable pressures. It occurs to me that brushing it might make me feel better. :)

What goes through my mind now is I have most of my clothes lying on the floor from attempting a sort over the past almost MONTH! I pick it up and start again, then I stop. I have not carved out the space and adequate time to do this. That my clothes are currently comfy is maybe because I've set aside clothes I don't love or need (or are have become too big!) in the Goodwill bag.... which is sitting near the door downstairs! :[

The parental voice in my head says, "Why does it take you so long? You have a serious problem not getting to finishing what you started. You spent money on programs to help you get organized, and look what you do! You're regressing! You grew up cleaning house in our farm family of 13 kids. Why don't you do what you know how to do! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!"

The child self resists more and more going off into her digital world as the adult self festers and tries not to be so overbearing. But the adult really wants the child to grow up and have a good life because she has so much potential.

Will they talk, will they work together?

While I hand journal (in a lovely handmade journal!)I have entered my journalings into a blog I created where I like to keep all my writings together in one place and post photos or images. I invite you to look if that is helpful and might find yourself in it and/or contribute comments. http://enliveningenvironmentseverywhere.blogspot.com/2016/01/day-16-wear.html. In editing the photo (of me in my comfy felt shoes, I would normally cut out the clutter you see here, but for these purposes I leave it--the loose papers and undealt with boxes on my shelf....in the spirit of not fixing anything, and just letting it all hang out and not try to "look good". :)

I'm curious if others are blogging in this way and/or what digital systems of journaling you may use.

Day 15: Three Rs of Clearing

 Day 15: Three Rs of Clearing

"If I had to summarize in three words the essence of the clearing path as I've experienced it, it would be these: raise, release, reveal."-Your Spacious Self

"Clearing raises awareness. Clearing releases attachments. Clearing reveals a spacious part that has been there all along.
Any questions?
The theme for this week is "Cultivating Awareness."

I'm drawing a blank. Maybe because I have gotten out of my daily routine of clearing. I am already aware how my clutter stops me. I wonder if I'm spending more time reading all these comments, over doing the actual work of clearing. I have been in maintenance mode, rather than wiping out whole areas and being rigorous in ridding my space of cluttering things. I mentioned previously I've created cocoons of space I can step into, like my studio and my kitchen. And in my intentional clearing processes, over the past few years, I remember the radical transformation and magic from clearing. I realize how much I let myself get distracted and then I beat myself up. When am I going to get it?? Ahhh! Old habits and going unconscious return. As I am about to turn in for the evening, I hope for releasing my attachments to how I'm doing, surrendering to rest and the sun coming up for another day.

Day 14: Check In � Inviting Awareness

 Day 14: Check In � Inviting Awareness

"The focus this week was to begin the process of shifting out of "doing" mode into "being" (more of a witness) mode.
When we slowly "drip" compassionate awareness into any resisting pattern, or contraction, we create a tiny peephole of space that wasn't there before. This peephole becomes larger over time and opens up to a universe full of possibilities beyond our wildest imaginings.
What is your peephole revealing? What changes are you aware of after this second week?"

As I become aware, I become gut honest with myself--all my reoccurring patterns, as well as to see my progress. I become aware of my senses and my reactions, how I judge and clam up. And in noticing this, I develop compassion for myself and lightheartedness; gratefulness as well.

I haven't done a lot of clearing away. I have eased up a bit on judging myself for not having made more progress as I touch in on the forces that keep me stuck. What I am aware of are these containers of space where I exist. I feel more contentment in my kitchen and in my studio. I've shifted the way I handle the things that make up the space.

I am actually getting a peephole into developing my new life path and services I offer.

Day 13, Feel it all

Day 13, Feel it all

"The best way to release what isn't working for you is to enter that sometimes scary zone called feeling.
Feeling the overwhelm, resistance, attachment, guilt, despair, shame�
Feeling it all without judging it as good or bad, or taking it personally.
What are you feeling right this second? Is it possible to take one step back and observe what you're feeling?"

I'm feeling gratitude for my cats, my familiars. Catness likes to sit as my loyal guardian as I sit at my desk writing. Shalna likes to cuddle in bed with us.

As I take one step back and observe, I am aware of having created containers of place and time in my journey of space clearing and organization over the past few years. They are like protective auras or cocoons surrounding meas I focus on the task or practice at hand.

I am aware of the list I made today which is looking at what I resist and facing it directly. Period.

Then I become aware of my chattering mind that wants to divert my attention to something to google that came up in my mind. So what comes up is being distracted by minutia. Right now, the smell of bacon that my husband just fixed reminds me that I haven't had my green drink yet.

Back in the saddle having had my green drink. Right now, I'm about to meet my walking partner.

All these thoughts. Maybe I'll post at the end of the evening what I got.

Coming back later in the day today.

I created more areas of workability in my kitchen and my studio.

I had the opportunity to face directly what I am resisting. It came up in the sensation of pain flaring up in my right hip, a common occurrence for me.  I have also developed over the years a unique movement-massage therapy approach that irons out this problem. I have helped people and myself over the years with this. I have stalled from going the next step in putting this out there in a class. By intentionally creating a clear space in my studio, it provided a safe space for me to let go.