"Raise your (virtual) hand if you are wearing something today that you don't love, doesn't fit or feel good?
Yes, including underwear.
What just went through your mind just now?
Is it possible to allow the squirmy-ness - of judgment, guilt, embarrassment, shame - to simply arise without doing anything to fix or manage it?"
My clothes fit well and are comfortable. I love this lavender sweater which is also getting a little big as I lose weight.
I love my new handcrafted felt shoes.
I am aware of my hair being messy and my head feeling slight uncomfortable pressures. It occurs to me that brushing it might make me feel better. :)
What goes through my mind now is I have most of my clothes lying on the floor from attempting a sort over the past almost MONTH! I pick it up and start again, then I stop. I have not carved out the space and adequate time to do this. That my clothes are currently comfy is maybe because I've set aside clothes I don't love or need (or are have become too big!) in the Goodwill bag.... which is sitting near the door downstairs! :[
The parental voice in my head says, "Why does it take you so long? You have a serious problem not getting to finishing what you started. You spent money on programs to help you get organized, and look what you do! You're regressing! You grew up cleaning house in our farm family of 13 kids. Why don't you do what you know how to do! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!"
The child self resists more and more going off into her digital world as the adult self festers and tries not to be so overbearing. But the adult really wants the child to grow up and have a good life because she has so much potential.
Will they talk, will they work together?
While I hand journal (in a lovely handmade journal!)I have entered my journalings into a blog I created where I like to keep all my writings together in one place and post photos or images. I invite you to look if that is helpful and might find yourself in it and/or contribute comments. http://enliveningenvironmentseverywhere.blogspot.com/2016/01/day-16-wear.html. In editing the photo (of me in my comfy felt shoes, I would normally cut out the clutter you see here, but for these purposes I leave it--the loose papers and undealt with boxes on my shelf....in the spirit of not fixing anything, and just letting it all hang out and not try to "look good". :)
I'm curious if others are blogging in this way and/or what digital systems of journaling you may use.
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